


Vitamin D

by meadea



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, JiKyu, M/M, but no one's more shocked than jihoon, i mean we were all shocked, i think i should have called this THE JUNKYU SHOCK, that time junkyu shocked the whole world for flipping on jihoon, tho actually i think hyunsuk is more shocked but like happily shocked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28777692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meadea/pseuds/meadea
Summary: Following their TREASURE EFFECT Countdown Party, Jihoon writes in his journal again for the first time in awhile. And he’s ending something.
Relationships: Kim Junkyu/Park Jihoon
Comments: 12
Kudos: 53





	Vitamin D

**Author's Note:**

> I have at least two photos of Jihoon writing. And when I look at them, they take me back to YGTB Jihoon, where he was just this soft boy, smiling with his braces on, just being. . . soft. And though he has become such a strong, passionate leader, I will always have the picture of that soft Jihoon in my head.

**_Entry 21. Jan. 11, 2021. 9PM._ **

_Dear Journal,_

_Frankly speaking, this makes me feel a little silly. And stupid. But it’s been a long time since I talked to you. And I’m only realizing now that you must think me a snob for stopping to write and share with you my feelings, my thoughts._

_Ha Ha Ha. You don’t even have the emotional capacity to be mad, but I feel like since I’ve written on your pages for so long and so honestly, you’ve become an extension of myself, or sometimes another living being in itself. One I haven’t met yet, but whom I trusted very much._

_I’ve realized that I don’t like it when people only talk to me simply to unload their burdens, their heartaches, then disappear and be merry again with the people who hurt them in the first place. That must be how you felt a long time ago, when I was much younger in both age and experience, and had a lot of things to whine about. But I hope you’d only remember the good ones, like the one I’m about to share. Though there will be a little whining, too._

_Today, we’ve finally released our first Full Album, and to be honest, it’s only sinking in now as I write. Remember when I would record here, log here even the slightest improvement or news that was irrelevant anyway, or that day I was about to compete with Jyun Hao? It’s making me laugh now because that was actually the first time I lied to you._

_I told you that morning that I was ready. And that I knew that all it takes is for me to give my all and loyally believe in myself. But I guess I just wanted to write what I wanted to hear that day, because deep down I was so terrified. When I got to the stage, I maintained the confidence, the lie I told you. And maybe you saw through me, because you helped that helpful lie get stuck with me up to that very moment I got to the stage._

_My dear journal, I’m sorry I didn’t write again that night. I’m sorry that I only came to you when I needed to unload my worries and pains._

_But enough about the past._

_This afternoon we held a countdown party for Teumes, our Treasure Makers. They made me host again, with Junghwan. And for the first time again in a long time, they made me sit next to the member I feel I haven’t talked to in awhile._

_You know what, journal, I’ll confess something._

_I did it. It was me. It was me who had suggested to noona that she tell Junkyu that we sit next to each other. And would you like to hear my justification for such a request? I told her it’s because it’s what fans have been asking. No, actually, scratch that. I think my exact word was ‘demanding’._

_God. I feel like an idiot._

_But you have to understand me. I was. . . I don’t know, maybe beginning to get worried? It was like Junkyu had become a little. . . distant. I just ignored it at first, because that’s just who Junkyu is in the first place. But then a month has already passed and I’ve observed that he’s just doing well with others. In fact, he seemed to have strengthened his bond with the other members, while I. . ._

_I know I should be happy. And I was. I am. That he’s gotten warmer with everybody now. That he has solidified his relationship with all the members. But, journal, must that happen at the expense of ours?_

_And I got mad for a while. I felt betrayed. That was why I’d also stopped trying, telling myself that if my presence really mattered to him, then he should feel the need to come to me when he starts to notice my absence. But damn Kim Junkyu. He didn’t even budge. And that got me thinking that maybe he just doesn’t care anymore. Or that he never cared in the first place. That I was just another member to him._

_So I distanced myself even more._

_But then as we were preparing for our comeback, he kind of started talking to me again. Well, not really talking. But one time after practice, I sat alone at the corner, by choice, catching my breath, thinking. Then he walked up to me, stood over me, and gave me my burger. When I said my thanks and he saw me put it down and not eat it, he remained standing there. I was looking up at him, smiling, waiting for him to leave. Then he offered me a bite of his burger. Right then I was thinking that I shouldn’t. Because it should take more than just a stupid bite of a burger for him to make up for the void he’d left inside me. But damn Kim Junkyu._

_And so starting that day, I began to try again. Because I realized I was being selfish. Junkyu has always come to my rescue, comforting me when I needed it, cheering me on even when we both know I’m doing it right. And there I was, sulking just because I stopped being the center of his attention._

_So I started complimenting him again, joking with him again, teasing him again, though this time I made sure that we were alone when I teased him about something, like the way he’d sung his solo part in My Treasure. And I’d only tease him more about it in front of everyone when I was sure he was okay with it._

_But I have a guilty secret, journal. I realized that even though I’m trying to be better than it, I’m still not used to watching other members give Junkyu the same attention and care I recognized I’d given him. There’s this small feeling deep inside me that says I should be the only person who makes Junkyu feel good, feel nice about himself._

_Because I’m afraid that. . . the others would do better than me. And I’d lose him. Again._

_Stupid, right? I think that same fear crept in me this afternoon, when the countdown party was about to end, and me and Junghwan were handing off these silly, little awards. They called Junkyu the Vitamin C of the group, and though I didn’t show it, I got a little annoyed because I was the one who called him that first. And that had meant to be a private thing between us two and now I’d be sharing that with possible millions._

_And right then my competitive self seemed to have been awoken and sprung up, and in my desperate need to be different, to be special again, I called Junkyu Vitamin D instead. But damn Kim Junkyu. He flipped on me and embarrassed me in front of everyone._

_Thinking back now to how I have initially reacted cracks me up, journal. It actually hurt my feelings. And I let Junkyu know that by implying a stupid little threat. Ha Ha Ha. As if I could do that. No. Not after he’d strayed away from me for what to me seemed like too long, and not after his one cute attempt at hanging out with me again with his burger offering at the practice room._

_So I think I finally got to the reason why I’d set out to open you again and write on you after a long time, journal. I want to share with you that tonight, just an hour ago, I confessed to Kim Junkyu how I truly felt about him. And I’m proud to say that our feelings are mutual. Though I already knew that._

_Same old me, journal, same old me. But I swear to be less cocky next time._

_Sigh. I'm still in cloud nine, journal. I feel a little embarrassed writing this, but earlier when Junkyu said that he felt the same towards me, he tried to kiss me on the cheek, but he chickened out, got awkward. So I did it instead. And he looked so red in the face that when I teased him he stormed out of my room. But I know he's probably rolling up and down his bed now. Well at least that's what I did once he was gone._

_Now I hate to say this, journal, but you know I’ve always believed it’s better to be honest. But yeah. I have reached your final page. I hope you’re not mad that you have more doodles than actual entries, but thank you, journal, for always listening to me, for always taking whatever I threw on you. You’ve helped me so much._

_But this time I fear our journey ends here. But don’t worry. I will keep you, will always treasure you. For now, it’s time for me to be someone else’s journal. And I promise to be as good a listener as you :)_

_Your best boy,_

**_Park Jihoon_ **

**Author's Note:**

> One of my objectives in writing this was to make ‘the journal’ a character in itself. A character that can represent us Teumes, the way I had intended Hyunsuk of OWL to represent us in that story. And as u’ve now realized, the real angst was directed to ‘the journal’, which is you guys. Because I’m a terrible person and I miss breaking your hearts. 
> 
> And one last thing, which side r u on? Team Blue or Black? Me honestly I haven't picked a side yet. What I'd probably be doing when T-Map S2 airs is look for jikyu crumbs, like, does jihoon glance at junkyu? does he touch his hand or slap his butt? or maybe he forces junkyu to be on his team or maybe he betrays his team for junkyu idk.
> 
> Now let me get back to Busan.


End file.
